13 January 2009
On the Twelfth of January the Year 2009, a great and terrible event occurred. I give you this story, in hopes that you, as predecessor, will carry on the legacy. Twas the mid afternoon, when, gathered in the Rom ( known as the Weight Room, The armory, and the Interrogation Chamber) My good companions Sky, Pat and I were seated in the infamous corner of Episode Four. Our newest addition to our troupe was "Kate", and we were all conversing rather casually, as chaos regned around us. "Kate": Hey guys, guess what? This guy I met is coming to Mentos [I can't mention this place either, cause you might come and kill me]!! Sky and i exchanged dubious glances. I said: Are you sure he's 15, though? He could actually be a 45 year old loser with no life. And then you'll get kidnapped and you'll get killed and then we'll find your dead body floating in a river somewhere- "Kate":Stop! I won't get killed. ANd i'll bring you guys and my brother and guns. Okay??" I was satisfied. So Sky and I continued our random and most likely pointless conversation. Then "Kate" said: Hey guys. Weren't we supposed to be doing the trunk lifts?' We had completely forgotten. But one glance at Mr/Mrs. Iwontmentiontheirnamesforlegalandorprivatereasons drove us away from any notion that we would actually let him/her hold a ruler near our heads. Mr/Mrs. Iwontmentiontheirnamesforlegalandorprivatereasonsyelled, quite hysterically:" I checked my pockets 18 times!!! Its not there!!!" We all looked at each other scrupulously. A mystery? In P.E? Preposterous!! He/She stormed around the room, banging the meter stick against everything. We winced at every sharp crack, and all eyes were upon him. I sidled up to the nearest person and whispered: Whats wrong with him?? She said
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Bonus Episode!!
Attention Spans and Worldinclasstidomination.
12 January 2009
Many times in our lives, we wonder: how long until I become distracted to the point of no return? When will I encounter the moment in time when I can no longer carry on a logical conversation? Well I believe I have reached that moment.
12 January 2009
Many times in our lives, we wonder: how long until I become distracted to the point of no return? When will I encounter the moment in time when I can no longer carry on a logical conversation? Well I believe I have reached that moment.
Episode 6: Singing
09 January 2009
Greetings, fellow beings. Today's story includes some ludicrous acts, my ears being artificially removed, rubber, and Bankais. Today was an elated day, when the fact that the next day is Saturday, and very oblivious couples make out... more than usual... and people always glare at you for stepping on their shoes. The first story is about me. Little not so old me. I was walking (actually, it was more tripping and lumbering than walking) to my first class, keeping my head down against the bitter fog. Alas, dear friends, that proved to be a mistake. In front of me was the hugest person I have ever encountered in my measly fourteen years. We were walking at approximately the same pace, and unbeknownst to me, he decided to join a blood clot... er... a group of obnoxious people. And according to Newton's third law of movement, I kept going. Until I hit my outside force- Mr Big Guy. He could have rearranged my face if he really wanted to, but instead, being his good day, perhaps, he merely scowled at me. I was outraged. It wasn't my fault! If he wanted to stop, at least do that where little Freshmen like me don't end up running into a wall of a person. But I didn't say any of that. I was too af - I mean, I was too above him to do that. -scoff- So I went on in the day, took a brain-killing math test, and then arrived at the door of the Gym.
We had gone on a power walk, around the campus, and when we got back to the main hallway, I noticed a muffled booming coming from the Gym. I thought: go figure. a bunch of stinking teenagers and ridiculously loud music. Then I saw a bunch of girls with an iPod(tm) hooked up to a speaker. then I thought: oh wow. Just like our class... And as I neared the end of the boulevard of broken eardrums, and I thought it couldn't get any worse...Mr/Mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons was right behind me. And apprently it was his/her favorite song. And he/she decided to sing. In a falsetto girly-but-not-girly-and-its-more-masculine-than-a-girl-singing-it voice. Its a wonder I didn't simply out-screech him. And then Mr/Mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons noticed that he/she wasn't in the shower any more, and since bad singing is only allowed in said shower, he/she promptly shut up. My ears were ringing. And its simply scary to see a Mr/Mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons singing like that. Only if you've seen he/she before. Then feel free to side with me.
Greetings, fellow beings. Today's story includes some ludicrous acts, my ears being artificially removed, rubber, and Bankais. Today was an elated day, when the fact that the next day is Saturday, and very oblivious couples make out... more than usual... and people always glare at you for stepping on their shoes. The first story is about me. Little not so old me. I was walking (actually, it was more tripping and lumbering than walking) to my first class, keeping my head down against the bitter fog. Alas, dear friends, that proved to be a mistake. In front of me was the hugest person I have ever encountered in my measly fourteen years. We were walking at approximately the same pace, and unbeknownst to me, he decided to join a blood clot... er... a group of obnoxious people. And according to Newton's third law of movement, I kept going. Until I hit my outside force- Mr Big Guy. He could have rearranged my face if he really wanted to, but instead, being his good day, perhaps, he merely scowled at me. I was outraged. It wasn't my fault! If he wanted to stop, at least do that where little Freshmen like me don't end up running into a wall of a person. But I didn't say any of that. I was too af - I mean, I was too above him to do that. -scoff- So I went on in the day, took a brain-killing math test, and then arrived at the door of the Gym.
We had gone on a power walk, around the campus, and when we got back to the main hallway, I noticed a muffled booming coming from the Gym. I thought: go figure. a bunch of stinking teenagers and ridiculously loud music. Then I saw a bunch of girls with an iPod(tm) hooked up to a speaker. then I thought: oh wow. Just like our class... And as I neared the end of the boulevard of broken eardrums, and I thought it couldn't get any worse...Mr/Mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons was right behind me. And apprently it was his/her favorite song. And he/she decided to sing. In a falsetto girly-but-not-girly-and-its-more-masculine-than-a-girl-singing-it voice. Its a wonder I didn't simply out-screech him. And then Mr/Mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons noticed that he/she wasn't in the shower any more, and since bad singing is only allowed in said shower, he/she promptly shut up. My ears were ringing. And its simply scary to see a Mr/Mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons singing like that. Only if you've seen he/she before. Then feel free to side with me.
Episode 5: The Secret Life of Doors
The Secret Life of Doors
When you imagine a door, do you imagine its life dull and worthless? Well think that no more, dear friend. What testimony I have, may be your last. You see, the reason why doors appear harmless and docile, is because... Are you ready? No. You cannot be... you will never believe me...and if you do... it may be too late already... THe fact is, the cruel, cold, hard fact is... Doors are out to kill you. Don't laugh. You won't be laughing... when you find yourself bleeding out of every orifice, and you have no clue why. I have scars from past skirmishes with a particular door. Every day, as I brace myself for the pain, I always think I hear a faint, maniacal cackle... And then when I push , and then quickly evade its blow, I can feel it pushing back... Odd. Am I Right? Try it yourself. ANd then When I find myself attempting to leave the Gym, a certain door always finds its way in front of my face... It is all very tragic. So dear friends, please do be careful when you approach ANY door... It may be out to get you.
When you imagine a door, do you imagine its life dull and worthless? Well think that no more, dear friend. What testimony I have, may be your last. You see, the reason why doors appear harmless and docile, is because... Are you ready? No. You cannot be... you will never believe me...and if you do... it may be too late already... THe fact is, the cruel, cold, hard fact is... Doors are out to kill you. Don't laugh. You won't be laughing... when you find yourself bleeding out of every orifice, and you have no clue why. I have scars from past skirmishes with a particular door. Every day, as I brace myself for the pain, I always think I hear a faint, maniacal cackle... And then when I push , and then quickly evade its blow, I can feel it pushing back... Odd. Am I Right? Try it yourself. ANd then When I find myself attempting to leave the Gym, a certain door always finds its way in front of my face... It is all very tragic. So dear friends, please do be careful when you approach ANY door... It may be out to get you.
Episode 4: The Office, part 2
THE OFFICE, Part Two
08 January, 2009
SKYthewolf and I had just left the weight training room, after approximately 70 curl ups. My abdominal muscles had been reduced to a quivering pile of jelly, and quite frankly, I don't know how Skythewolf does it. Well anyway, I was walking, quite weakly, to the locker room, and I don't remember what we were talking about when we walked in there. But this time, I wasn't so lucky. Skythewolf grabbed my arm and said: LOOK. I looked. And whatever part of me that wasn't murdered bloodily from our last episode... just asphyxiated. It was worse. Much worse. Bad enough to make your Great Aunt Bessy have a heart attack in her coffin. And plenty enough to make your eyes melt out of your head. And your brain to come squirting out of your ears and every other place that a liquid brain can reach. And - uh. Well, I should actually get to what we're dying of first... Yeah. Okay. Its also a calendar. But think- its in the girls office. SO basically, its a muscular guy on a beach who forgot his clothes.. all of it... and forgot there was a photographer around, and forgot how to sit properly as well. The only mercy allowed was a teeny yellow Post-it note where clothes should have been. (Yeah, you know what I feel now, right?) And then SKYthewolf and I exchanged glances, and then nodded. Yup, its blackmail time. :)
08 January, 2009
SKYthewolf and I had just left the weight training room, after approximately 70 curl ups. My abdominal muscles had been reduced to a quivering pile of jelly, and quite frankly, I don't know how Skythewolf does it. Well anyway, I was walking, quite weakly, to the locker room, and I don't remember what we were talking about when we walked in there. But this time, I wasn't so lucky. Skythewolf grabbed my arm and said: LOOK. I looked. And whatever part of me that wasn't murdered bloodily from our last episode... just asphyxiated. It was worse. Much worse. Bad enough to make your Great Aunt Bessy have a heart attack in her coffin. And plenty enough to make your eyes melt out of your head. And your brain to come squirting out of your ears and every other place that a liquid brain can reach. And - uh. Well, I should actually get to what we're dying of first... Yeah. Okay. Its also a calendar. But think- its in the girls office. SO basically, its a muscular guy on a beach who forgot his clothes.. all of it... and forgot there was a photographer around, and forgot how to sit properly as well. The only mercy allowed was a teeny yellow Post-it note where clothes should have been. (Yeah, you know what I feel now, right?) And then SKYthewolf and I exchanged glances, and then nodded. Yup, its blackmail time. :)
Episode 3: The Office, part 1
THE OFFICE-Part One.
06 January, 2009.
Dear friends, I tell you this account of the mentioned date in no less than a perfect mental condition. I would like to explain a certain ... happening... my good friend, Sky thewolf, and I have stumbled upon. Well, to be more exact, there wasn't much stumbling to be done... at least on her part. I always stumble. Back to the story. It was during the most exciting of classes, Physical Ed. Weight lifting was never so fun, with 3 merry people in your group. We had only reached the halfway mark, and we rotated to the "DB flies". Now don't ask me why whoever invented this excercise named it so ridiculously, but they did. This involved taking one of those very dumb bells ( although they're not even shaped anything close to a bell.) and lifting them above your head as if you were flying. Ridiculous, no? Well Pat, (whose REAL name is not allowed on here) also a compadre, decided to tell us that shields weigh 60 pounds. Now I was thinking "60?? Thats preposterous. I think they're at most 15 or so pounds." And he insisted. And he picked up the 60 pound weight. And tried to lift it. And, would you figure, it smashed his finger. First thought, ouch. Second, I still don't think a shield weighs 60 pounds. But we told him to get a bandaid and wash it out. So he got a bandaid, and sat out for a bit. Sky thewolf and I simply fooled around with the ... Tricep Press I believe its called. We imagined it as a sort of watering pump, those railroad cart things, a fighter jet, and a space craft. Imaginative, no? I think so. Well after a few more minutes of being happily oblivious, we noticed that Pat was still sitting there, so we went to talk to him. Sky thewolf said" DId you wash it out?" PATl: "No." Sky thewolf: " GO wash it out NOW." It was actually a lot more complicated than that, but I really don't remember any of it. And it would be a copyright infringement as well. So then Pat went out duly, and we resumed shooting down passerbys on our fighter jet. We got a total of 4 kills. :) ANd then Pat came back. Pat came back? I was rather confused. THe bell rang, then, and Sky thewolf and I went over there, and asked why he was still here. Sky thewolf said: "did you wash it out?" Pat said: No. Then Mr/mrs, Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons butted in and said " you know what he did?" Sky thewolf and I both said: Whut. Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons said: He just went-- and he gestured him falling over. Sky thewolf said: "Did he catch himself?" Well... I didn't pay attention to the next few exchanged words, but I heard the call for an escort. Sky thewolf and I volunteered, since we were the only people who weren't injured in the room. Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons Said: "take him to the office, and make sure he doesn't, you know." We nodded, and went out the door. to the right. Which proved to be a fatal mistake, because Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons must have thought we were evading school and said: "this way. please." unpleasantly. WE trotted down the hall, and into the PE ( see, we thought it was the main office, where you get to go home.) office, and to the left. The right was the office to the girls locker room, and I realized too late that we were headed towards the boys locker. Boy was I freaked. Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons must have realized as well, because the aforementioned hurriedly excused us. But too late, I screamed in my head. I had seen something that will scar me for life. On a calendar on the wall, oblivious to most who were in the locker rooms, was the most freaky picture I've ever seen. It involves a female who happened to forget their clothes, apparently forgot how to sit properly, and it just happened to forget there was a photographer around. X_X I almost died, and dragged Sky thewolf out the door as fast as my fat self could go. I said: DId you see that???? Sky thewolf, who was equally disturbed, said: Yeah. Then when we got out, we discussed this, as in we should use it as blackmail. But that, my dear friends, is another story entirely.
06 January, 2009.
Dear friends, I tell you this account of the mentioned date in no less than a perfect mental condition. I would like to explain a certain ... happening... my good friend, Sky thewolf, and I have stumbled upon. Well, to be more exact, there wasn't much stumbling to be done... at least on her part. I always stumble. Back to the story. It was during the most exciting of classes, Physical Ed. Weight lifting was never so fun, with 3 merry people in your group. We had only reached the halfway mark, and we rotated to the "DB flies". Now don't ask me why whoever invented this excercise named it so ridiculously, but they did. This involved taking one of those very dumb bells ( although they're not even shaped anything close to a bell.) and lifting them above your head as if you were flying. Ridiculous, no? Well Pat, (whose REAL name is not allowed on here) also a compadre, decided to tell us that shields weigh 60 pounds. Now I was thinking "60?? Thats preposterous. I think they're at most 15 or so pounds." And he insisted. And he picked up the 60 pound weight. And tried to lift it. And, would you figure, it smashed his finger. First thought, ouch. Second, I still don't think a shield weighs 60 pounds. But we told him to get a bandaid and wash it out. So he got a bandaid, and sat out for a bit. Sky thewolf and I simply fooled around with the ... Tricep Press I believe its called. We imagined it as a sort of watering pump, those railroad cart things, a fighter jet, and a space craft. Imaginative, no? I think so. Well after a few more minutes of being happily oblivious, we noticed that Pat was still sitting there, so we went to talk to him. Sky thewolf said" DId you wash it out?" PATl: "No." Sky thewolf: " GO wash it out NOW." It was actually a lot more complicated than that, but I really don't remember any of it. And it would be a copyright infringement as well. So then Pat went out duly, and we resumed shooting down passerbys on our fighter jet. We got a total of 4 kills. :) ANd then Pat came back. Pat came back? I was rather confused. THe bell rang, then, and Sky thewolf and I went over there, and asked why he was still here. Sky thewolf said: "did you wash it out?" Pat said: No. Then Mr/mrs, Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandprivatereasons butted in and said " you know what he did?" Sky thewolf and I both said: Whut. Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons said: He just went-- and he gestured him falling over. Sky thewolf said: "Did he catch himself?" Well... I didn't pay attention to the next few exchanged words, but I heard the call for an escort. Sky thewolf and I volunteered, since we were the only people who weren't injured in the room. Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons Said: "take him to the office, and make sure he doesn't, you know." We nodded, and went out the door. to the right. Which proved to be a fatal mistake, because Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons must have thought we were evading school and said: "this way. please." unpleasantly. WE trotted down the hall, and into the PE ( see, we thought it was the main office, where you get to go home.) office, and to the left. The right was the office to the girls locker room, and I realized too late that we were headed towards the boys locker. Boy was I freaked. Mr/mrs Iwontmentiontheirnameforlegalandorprivatereasons must have realized as well, because the aforementioned hurriedly excused us. But too late, I screamed in my head. I had seen something that will scar me for life. On a calendar on the wall, oblivious to most who were in the locker rooms, was the most freaky picture I've ever seen. It involves a female who happened to forget their clothes, apparently forgot how to sit properly, and it just happened to forget there was a photographer around. X_X I almost died, and dragged Sky thewolf out the door as fast as my fat self could go. I said: DId you see that???? Sky thewolf, who was equally disturbed, said: Yeah. Then when we got out, we discussed this, as in we should use it as blackmail. But that, my dear friends, is another story entirely.
Epispode 2: Twilight
Sorry, kids, today's episode short. Just because I finished writing a crappy-as-heck essay on who knows what, at one in the morning. So i hope you understand. And sorry if I ended up yelling at you today. Blame that on the essay too. And if you actuallywant to read the essay, although nobody in the right half of their mind would be crazy enough to do that, just comment it here.
Yours truly,
Lunatella
Dear Loyal readers, as you may previously know, I am opposed to the Twilight series, both the movie(s) and the books. But the review done by one of the Morning Announcement people really nailed it. He said everything I thought about the shoddiness of the books/movie, and how everything was really shallow, etc. Its great. Now, go forth and be against popular culture. GO. Do it, Now.
Yours truly,
Lunatella
Dear Loyal readers, as you may previously know, I am opposed to the Twilight series, both the movie(s) and the books. But the review done by one of the Morning Announcement people really nailed it. He said everything I thought about the shoddiness of the books/movie, and how everything was really shallow, etc. Its great. Now, go forth and be against popular culture. GO. Do it, Now.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Episode 1: Dancing Elves
Due to the legal protection those who are mentioned are under, I am restricted from using their names. Therefore, thy must GUESS at who these people are. And no blackmail either.
Yours truly,
Lunatella
DANCING ELVES
12 December, 2008
The morning was cold. I could feel icicles forming everywhere. I rushed to first period, hoping I would not miss the morning announcements, signaling my lateness. I crossed the giant useless plot of grass, across the frozen mud, and skidded my way over the frozen ground. Breathless, I yanked open the classroom door, and made my clumsy way to the front of the room. Person no.1 greeted me, as I began to thaw out. After I was able to move my fingers, and made sure that my feet hadn't been disconnected from my ankle somehow, I settled my backpack and books underneath my chair just as the first announcement came on. "Heeelllooooo [insert school here]!! It is December 12th, ....." I lost attention at that point. I don't quite remember anything I did between that and when my friend jabbed me in the ribs. I said: ow! and one look at the expression on her face, I turned to the video displayed on the whiteboard. What happened is real. All of it. You would never think it would in real life, but it did. I saw dancing elves. I was transfixed in horror at the video. It involved people, realistically-animated elves, and lots and lots of corny remixed Christmas classics. I could have died. Really. I could have suffered from Scary Images Intolerance (SII for short), and a severe case of it at that. The elves, with certain peoples' faces on them, danced across the screen. Disco moves penetrated my poor brain, and the bright, flashing colors made my eyes water. The class roared with hysterical laughter, and it began to dawn on me... this will forever haunt my nightmares, waiting to prey on whatever chance of me having a nice dream. Even now, if I close my eyes, or when I catch a hint of Disco music, the dancing teacher-elves flash in my mind. Please be on the lookout for them. And whatever you do, don't die.
Yours truly,
Lunatella
DANCING ELVES
12 December, 2008
The morning was cold. I could feel icicles forming everywhere. I rushed to first period, hoping I would not miss the morning announcements, signaling my lateness. I crossed the giant useless plot of grass, across the frozen mud, and skidded my way over the frozen ground. Breathless, I yanked open the classroom door, and made my clumsy way to the front of the room. Person no.1 greeted me, as I began to thaw out. After I was able to move my fingers, and made sure that my feet hadn't been disconnected from my ankle somehow, I settled my backpack and books underneath my chair just as the first announcement came on. "Heeelllooooo [insert school here]!! It is December 12th, ....." I lost attention at that point. I don't quite remember anything I did between that and when my friend jabbed me in the ribs. I said: ow! and one look at the expression on her face, I turned to the video displayed on the whiteboard. What happened is real. All of it. You would never think it would in real life, but it did. I saw dancing elves. I was transfixed in horror at the video. It involved people, realistically-animated elves, and lots and lots of corny remixed Christmas classics. I could have died. Really. I could have suffered from Scary Images Intolerance (SII for short), and a severe case of it at that. The elves, with certain peoples' faces on them, danced across the screen. Disco moves penetrated my poor brain, and the bright, flashing colors made my eyes water. The class roared with hysterical laughter, and it began to dawn on me... this will forever haunt my nightmares, waiting to prey on whatever chance of me having a nice dream. Even now, if I close my eyes, or when I catch a hint of Disco music, the dancing teacher-elves flash in my mind. Please be on the lookout for them. And whatever you do, don't die.
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